Ladies and gentlemen, Wendy Watson.
All right, everybody, stand up, put your arms up, and move them around in a circle. Gather the energy as you move your arms up and push the energy down out through your feet. All right, go ahead and have a seat.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever had your feelings hurt. Raise your hand if you’ve ever had your feelings hurt and you don’t ever want it to happen again. Raise your hand if you believe energy is in everything.
Before I move into the three layers of forgiveness, I want to thank Miss Tonni Lea for hosting this amazing healing conference with all of these fantastic speakers and the great insights and healing tools we all get to walk away with this weekend. So, thank you. And I want to thank all of you for showing up, yes, for yourselves, to be here to learn, grow, and broaden your horizons.
I had the pleasure of speaking with somebody this week who has spent tens of thousands of dollars over decades to learn how to forgive her mother. She just recently had her “aha” moment, and we’re going to get to that at the end of the speech.
Now, most people fall straight into intellectual forgiveness. What happened? What were the aspects that played around that affected the situation? What was your thought process? What were your actions? What things throughout the day led up to that event? Maybe it was a couple of days before that. Maybe a year ago, you had an experience with this same person that left an imprint, that left an experience you couldn’t get past, that created a second situation. And this is where most people fall into, right? We have to figure out what happened intellectually to be able to find the lessons, to be able to find the gratitude, which leads to forgiveness.
Unfortunately, this is where most people stop. Intellectual forgiveness is only the first layer of three. You think you have forgiven someone, but a month later, three months later, a year later, you’re driving home from work, and the situation starts playing around in your head again. And all the emotions start creeping up: the anger, the confusion, starts boiling up in your gut, your heart gets heavy, gets tense, and you’re like, “What in the world is going on? I thought I forgave them. Why is it coming back up again?”
And then you go home and can’t sleep, maybe just that night, maybe a few nights. You realize your digestion is off, your back pain becomes chronic, and you don’t have the energy to exercise like you want to; maybe it causes another argument. That’s because you haven’t done the emotional forgiveness.
Emotional forgiveness involves acknowledging the emotions. What emotions did you feel? How do you define those for yourself? What do they mean to you? Where did they stem from? And then accepting that that’s how you feel. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s a reason why those emotions came up. Having compassion enough to accept them, but then you have to release them in order to heal them, right? So, how do you release them? Did you talk to somebody? Did you journal it? Did you create a painting that expressed your emotions? And then the healing comes in when you take ownership of your emotions. You are the master of your domain. You’re the master of your emotions. You get to choose how you feel.
So, how do you want to feel about this person, about this situation? Do you want to feel compassion because you get to choose how you want to live? Compassion for giving the other person their right to live how they want to live, to feel how they want to feel. Do you want to feel understanding? Understanding that we’re all humans and that we’re all perfect, and we’ve all had those moments where we could have said something a little bit better, right?
When my ex-husband told me I wasn’t fun anymore, who hasn’t had one of those moments? I could have gotten upset. I could have created an argument. I could have let him sleep on the couch for three days, right? But instead, I paused, stepped aside, and I went through the emotional process. I went through all the emotions and defined them and got past them. If I hadn’t gone through that, I would have missed the opportunity to take ownership of my joy because I realized he was right even though he was projecting his own emotions onto me. I wasn’t doing the things that I found joy in anymore. I decided to take that opportunity to get my joy back, to declare for myself that nobody else would ever steal my joy from me again. [Applause]
We’ve got two layers down one more to go. When I took my joy back, I realized I
had alienated myself. I looked around, I looked at my life, and I had alienated myself from my friends and family. I also realized how much my marriage had deteriorated. It took me years to be able to fully and completely love again.
Forgiveness: even though I had gone through intellectual and emotional forgiveness, I hadn’t gone through spiritual forgiveness. Spiritual forgiveness is like that clause that you see in the contracts these days, the “hold harmless” clause. “I promise to hold XYZ company and their affiliates, and their business partners, and their relatives, and their plumbers, and whoever else, right, right, harmless of harming XYZ.” Spiritual harmless is holding the other person spiritually harmless. It’s holding yourself spiritually harmless. It’s holding God, Spirit, the Divine, spiritually harmless. Does that sound empowering to you? Raise your hand if that sounds empowering. Absolutely, yes. Raise your hand if it sounds empowering and you want that in your life. Raise your hand if it sounds empowering and you’re determined to have that in your life. Yes, amen!
Once you find the harmlessness, here’s the scary part: you have to surrender. I know, Kent, it sounds like a scary word. I know, Regina, it feels scary to surrender. But surrendering to the Divine master plan, amen, yes, knowing that they know more than we do, thank goodness, right? We’re but mere humans. We don’t have that existential intelligence. Surrendering to that master plan and letting go, yes.
The unbridled love, that deep-rooted inner peace you will find when you find spiritual forgiveness, is like anything else in this world. Raise your hand if you believe that you deserve that. Raise your hand if you’re ready to get there. Yes!
I want everyone in this room to experience that spiritual transformation. So, I’m offering everyone in this room a free spiritual transformation phone call with me, one-on-one, confidential. Those who book a meeting with me will get a free copy of “She Talks” magazine, where you will find my article on how to transform your communication from chaos to clarity using my 70-20-1 rule. And the first three people—QR code, please—oh, sorry, I’m failing his van right now—the Johnny Cash of Vanna—the first three people that book their meeting with me will also get a free signed copy of my book, “Verbal Turbulence: The 70-20-1 Rule.”
So everybody, get your phones out. Tnie, you’re already on yours. Yeah, I’ll walk around; it’s all good. Scan the QR code and get your appointment booked. It’s free, no obligations. Got it? Because I believe everyone in here deserves to be forgiven. I believe you deserve to let go of that anger, to let go of the confusion, to let go of the betrayal, and you deserve to move forward in life with peace in your relationships. Amen, yes! And you don’t have to do it alone because I am here, and let’s do it together. Thank you. [Applause]